Friday, June 10, 2011
the last straw

Dear Ms F_______,


Perhaps there was some miscommunication earlier. Thanks for clarifying.

But with this as the basis of our common understanding now, I would like to proceed to propose the waiver of all corkage charges -

as I find it really ridiculous to be charged when I am already paying so much for everything else, when all I am asking for is 6 bottles which will probably not even feed half my guests. And also in addition, the limited variety of your wine selections that you bring in.
(None of your overpriced wines actually pair well with my catering menu, do you not think so?)

Furthermore, I have previously mentioned my budget of $2K nett so many times as the events person I meet keep changing.
Of which, each of you promised to customise to my needs as much as possible. And as I have already compromised on my part, I hope you will do the same too. Otherwise, perhaps it is only better to look for other alternatives that are more value for money.

I only approached Ksuites in hope of fulfilling my dream 21st. Not to get disappointed time and time again.



Regards,
Rebecca Ang.

becca (: ♥ 10:37 PM



upon a gloomy cloud

dear bloggieeee,
i miss you!!


Work's been updown.
surviving i'd say.

with the lack of seniors,
it's seriously stressful to take on this role just so soon...

yet i pray i dont act upon with my "seniority".
it's inevitable when you're made to perform,
and when officers take long breaks,
it's hard to not nag the newbies a little,
or be hot on their heels just in case they get themselves into deep shit.

but i still pray that God will give me wisdom and tactfulness in handling this.
i really do not wish to come across as the terror i was once under, as a newbie.
hence, i have given my dearest best buddy colleague,
the authority to scold me if i do.

but somehow it proves me right that they still cant handle it without being pushed...
oh wells. a little more initiative people!!

other than that,
i'm happy sitting counter 3 :D:D
i can choose who i wanna serve ROFL.

and dear Diana,
pls come back soon!! im so stretched!!

looking forward to pay day!
i.am.so.BROKE.!!!!




21st nightmareee

i cant believe.
the nightmare is coming true.

oh damn it.
i have a budget to follow to.
i dont print money...

other people has their parents to pay for it dude,
fact is, I DONT.
and i dont want them to either.
it's a luxury.
it's a dream come true.
it's more purposeful to make my own dreams come true,
than to buy my dreams through my kins...
make sense?

i have actually been really excited about this last year,
to know im closer and closer to this dream 21st.

and then, diff shit happens.
and i thought i overcame them well, make do here and there...
and slowly, i kinda grow weary.

sometimes, i procrastinate.
sometimes, i feel like just giving up everything.

sometimes i feel crazy enough.
sometimes i feel overcrazied to even try.

and now, that dudette wants to play games with me.

cant all this be settled happily, peacefully, give and take?
rather than pushing and pushing and pushing??
you think i got another $250 to give you!?
do i not need to eat??
$250 can feed me for 1 mth of expenditure you know!! wth!
totally ridiculous!!!

i really dont wish to have an email fight with you.
but if i really must give up.
i rather i fight with no regrets.

to a point, i really feel like just cancelling everything.

what's wrong with you?


am i really that nice to bully?


i dont know why the hell you can intimidate me.
i realise i keep giving in to you!
when i am the freaking customer.

what do i do now?

sighs.


One more thing.

i realised, im getting rather apprehensive towards guys these days.
very indeed.

they stink...
smelly old man with no manners.

99% of the seats in the mrt are taken up by guys!!
middle aged ones with no balls!

and most of them are dumb and insensitive.
and definitely selfish!
they will only do stuff that benefit them.

they are all superficial.
all looks. all bods. all losers!

they are all fakes.
humans who take up space on the earth.

a total disappointment.




Love Becca.

becca (: ♥ 8:30 PM


Sunday, May 22, 2011
mid may syndrome.

omggg. time sure FLIEEESSS!
i cant believe im approaching my 8th month with the bank by this JUNE!


WORK.

oh wells. this month is really chaotic.
it marked my 3rd discrep.
incredibly within 6 months...
i dont know how i'd hang on for the next 6 months bef i get kicked out instead!!

*had one of my most confused and low points at work too during this month*

but i kinda got it sorted out...
im paid enough not to grumble.
should not be greedy about getting bonus. tsk!
in 2 mths, i wldve recoup my loss for my luxurious expenditure on my 21st anw..

so what's the fuss! tsk :X
aft all i wont stay long either!
*trying to look on the brighter side!* :X

that reminds me.
becoming the about-to-be seniorest among my peers...
is not such a good idea for a 7-mther..
stress like shit, responsibilities piling up,
people looking at how you perform. the example. :X

*while i kinda like challenges and to challenged.
i give up quite easily if i dont have the confidence too.*

at the same time,
recently been having quite a bit of diff in opinions with my line mgr ):
the latest one is about writing minutes.
i swear its the littlest things that irritates.
oh wells!

*i am the sort of person, who if need to get something done, i'll willingly do out of my workhrs too (e.g. TODAY)
but sometimes some things that others say, just make you dont wanna chiong so hard for them anymore.

WHAT FOR??

never appreciated at all.

*perhaps coming from an fnb bgd. teamwork is what i treasure most, and what i'll put all my heart, mind, soul into.
but sometimes if a team leader doesnt sure example, the others wont reciprocate either.
and you just get one very drained soul. sighs. nevermind that.

*but if a team leader doesnt even believe in it,
it's doomed for her team.

*oh wells, i got scolded for thinking of customers. it's lack on my part for some compliance issues.
she didnt even try to allow some rationale on my point of view of service. FINE.
-it felt like i disappointed her when i was only trying to help-

so IN CONCLUSION.
like what the world does in the market place.
save your ass first, heck the others.
it's a selfish place, a rigid ball game.

i've learned my lesson, and i wont forget that's what you taught me.
i miss my own industry so much now. ):
it's not totally like that in there.


===================


the prep 4 my 21st.

after garnering some mental security of my finances...
due to the high probability of not getting bonus... :X

and after loads of support and advice from my dear friends...
(i'd say opposition was more, but it's what keeps me going? rofl.)

i've decided.
to proceed (:

quite a few said, it sounds like a wedding...
(and i kinda hate it when ppl say that)
(or perhaps they've never tried planning anything for themselves bef, or much less others?)

anyway, people talked me down when they said its impossible to save so much to go Aussie too.
but i know i can do it, just believe and plan it with success in mind. (:

oh wells,
and so thanks to dearest JBT who came to my rescue.
(honestly, i never ever thought about asking ppl to help me, they just came & did! loves!)

met up with them, mostly WT.
to discuss & meet the events coordinator quite a few times!

finally settled with the initial deposit last last weekend.
IM SO HAPPY!
it's like a burden of thoughts of decision-making/ processing. finally ended! :D
(wt knows me best!)

went shopping ard with Scand for materials/ decor,
and bought the masks too, at sgd120!~
it's early i know hahahas!

to date, i've already spent SGD 1366!!
tsk. using my supp card.
and paying dad back last night.
broke immediately when pay came in! ahhahas.

everything is in drafts tsk.
my guest list, is like procrastinatingly unposted :S
i suppose to get it down like TODAY.
shall figure something out tonight...
sighs. i dont know who to invite, and who to let go...
*thanks to my budgetary & physical capacity!!

and i still trying to bargain for corkage waivers,
and im simply super not good at it.
HOW!? tell me how??

but im so happy i bought the major stuff already,
cake's on the way, by Elaine :D
and decor is half bought.
reception stuff more or less there, except the table cloth!
door drapes are cluelessly in the air...
catering needs more drinks discussion??
other admin/ log stuff needed... tsk.

excited!

I NEED A DRESS.... HOW!?
but i dont wanna spend a single cent extra alrddd...

i need a final wishlist.... too!
the things i want is not available.
the things im not sure of, needs me going down personally.


JIAYOU!!


=======================


anw 3 more days of work,
and i wont be in SINGAPORE alrd :D

going on Breakthrough weekend from thurs to Sun.
near the borders luhs. (:





Love Becca (:
can you please stop painting such a beautiful but EMPTY picture of me... ):
im not as perfect as you think i am.
and i cant be like what you think i am.

becca (: ♥ 1:06 PM


Sunday, May 08, 2011
THIS WEEK... short but eventful!

shortest week in my entire work life ever imagined!!
4 day work week cheers! :D

but EVENTFUL indeed!



tiring Saturday!
long weekend for Labour day...
met up with Lesbo partner!
and of all places at Bugis...
she wanted to eat Lenas!!
our budget was $20 per pax.
but we only spent $22 for 2 persons bcux the portion size is SO BIG!!

went to colleague's wedding, and an eyeopener to a malay wedding's behind the scenes indeed!
nice food :D


Sunday was rotting day?
but had a nice time running with daddy to a random dinner place in our neighbourhood...
having our dinner,
and then chatting as we walk back (:
*likes*


PH Monday...
went out to People's park with mum & dad...
bought some toiletries (random)
then went to find the shop which quoted me a good price for masquerade masks for my 21st.
*see whether the quote is still valid, and it is!! so happy!*
50pieces (nice quality ones) for $100!!!

then we went to rot @ Marina Sq,
and had mini steamboat dinner at Hotpot culture :D nice!
and CHEAP!

==================

Tuesday, so-called doomsday...
sat strategically at LPO...
freaking out already...
becux i had to count church's money...
and when i was mentally prepared that im NOT going to sit LPO as planned!! )):

ironically,
it's NOT EVERYBODY'S doomsday... (not as busy as 29th apr's hell day!)
but it was MY DOOMSDAY ))):

unhappy loads
sad max
cry loads.
to myself though ):

fb status spam loads ):

it was my 3rd discrep and the worst one so far...
one more time and im prepared to go Australia RIGHTAWAY!!!
i was so damn pessimistic and sad.
that no one can say anything to cheer me up ):

becux my 21st bday and luxurious wants of learning another skill and all...
and studying in Australia dreams...
all depended on this job!!!
and my BONUS!
omg. i nearly died!

*but at least i didnt cry at work this time!! :X

sighs. my officer still has high hopes on me ):
but subsequently im seated at the outside counters, non-premier queue that relieved a lot of stress (:
made me a happy girl :D


====================


basically the rest of the week is about window shopping with diff people...
dinnering at home...

and finally, yesterday SATURDAY
met WT :D
for the appointment with the Ksuites guy to plan my 21st bday...
i found him quite lousy in directing and advising my plans...
but at least i got to see the quotations for the catering (:

but oh wells,
he already handed over his duties to yet another person!
2nd time alreadyyy of change of hands!

but dont get me wrong,
he's a really nice person,
teaching me how to work around the negotiation...
too bad the next person is a girl ):
* hard to negotiate with females!!

honestly speaking, i was really very insecure about everything ever since Tuesday..
nearly going nuts, spoilt my mood to plan my bday alrd ):

but thank God there's WT to help me out ((:
her advice on everything, rooms, budget etc :D

although this is more draggy than i thought,
but i really hope to liaise with the next events person by Tues,
settle the booking and the package by next Sunday...
sounds rushed, but i dont like last minute things, if its really impt to me!

and that reminds me...
OUR DISCUSSED DEADLINE for invitations is TODAY! :X

okay, off to get it doneee! :X




me and my Tetris is driving me nuts!!!
such a left brain thing muahahhas...
and its making me see tetris everywhereee! :X




i need some motivation!
proper one.




i hope this does not change things..
but if i have to, i will have to... :X




yesterday while stalking Jaslynn @ Nex...
i spent almost 2 hours of me-time @ her teadot cafe...
staring into space..
thinking about everything that i can think of, and hadnt had the time to think about.
this is the first time someone had to snap me out of my thoughts..
not once, but TWICE!!!
with tears in my eyes somemore omg.
but it felt awesome (:
*to unwind all my thoughts (:

it's still there...

somehow, although i have managed to kill every bit of my feelings..
but seriously a wonder how each and every memory still bears pain.
it hurts to think how crazy i was,
how i got the courage the strength to do something i ordinarily cannot.
how much i actually loved you with every bit of strength i have.
it was crazy, it was stupid. it was not worth it.
it is gone. it is over. it will never happen again.





Love Becca (:

becca (: ♥ 12:44 PM


Monday, May 02, 2011
updates (:

month of april has just said good bye... (:


time really flies...
bef i know it,
this is alrd my 6th month with the bank ...

my duties have increased/ changed alot too...
couple of seniors have left...
Tues (TMR) is doomsday.
i hope i can actually have time to eat & swallow my food.
*with the fact that im not too stressed to eat properly... :X

Last Friday is a peek into tmr...
it was hell crazy.
that i cannot believe my eyes.
also a test of endurance and gunghoness ):



im glad that im in this job,
i have a life.
a different kinda life (:
i get to meet the people i wanna meet.
i get to experience a diff type of frontline.
i get extra cash, such that i overspend :X

God is Good!
He provided when i overspent >.<

thanks to May's govt money of $600...
im able to survive (;

and yet i dont need to vote!
hahahs, i feel like a freeloader :X
a legal one. LOL.


====================


WORK

politics only revolve ard one person a minority now.
i pray i dont become one of the gossipmongers. :X

the impossible one, has left (: cheers!

and they've been pushing me to more responsibilities since 2 just left in the prev wk!
kinda still adapting.
but glad to say, surviving..

actually not just me,
but my dear colleague diana & daniel too..
it's abit too fast, i hope we can hang in there tgt (:


==================

Getting a Life..

i feel like a slacker sometimes,
even though im so exhausted lol.

but im happy to catch up with my diff clique/ circles of friends (:
not very often, but still quite regular i'd say (:

at least i still managed to go back to TP
to visit FO and week O and see my freshies grad ((:

i'd say i have a life.


==================


Eyecandies..

are starting to feel like a thing of the past :X

both are attached.
both are so distant.
both are acquaintances.


==================


Rotting has become my inevitably fav pastime!
as long as nobody jios me out...
even from now, as i peek into the month...
i've got a couple of dates..
enough to make me broke...
but i still have a bit too many free days :x LOL

*too free is also a prob :X*




for some reason, i cant seem to get my ass onto the piano chair...
i stare at it everyday...
but it seems like a stranger these days ):
*sad aint it ):


chatting with you...
started out as really random.
but in these past weeks.

to me:
you're just a really good online friend, whom i've never met bef, but can click.
and i really dont have online friends like that, not for that little childish pranks in sec sch..
but it's nice chatting with you, i just hope. it's not excessive.
i just thought it would be nice to have a bff..
i hope there's nothing else behind it, that would change everything.

i hope you get it. :X

*shit that's fast, you're msning me like rightaway =.=*


during our chat last night...
it really made me think back about everything that happened to clique in the past 3 years...
just by looking at my msn dp...
it sent tears down ):

how we started out.
how we became a clique
how we used to be.
the stuff we used to do tgt.
how it was like to be the becca that clique knows me during those 3 years, that im not/ can never be again now..

how we are now.
how we are trying very hard to be a clique still.
how things have changed..
how times are diff.
how me and you are diff now.
how silly i was.
how real it was.
how deep it was.
how sad it was.

i realised i couldnt bear to think back.
i have been blocking those memories out so much, so as to make sure i can move on...
and now its time to face it all i guess?
it really sent tears.
those were times most impt to me,
both friendship and what not.



Love Becca.

becca (: ♥ 11:36 AM


Wednesday, April 06, 2011
just a couple of things (:

before you even know it,
time flies, and its already midweek~!

and before i really look at the calendar,
it's prolly my 21st already :X
*feel so old :X*


Work
sitting at counter one (premier counter),
to the Becca you know...
is always a kind of motivation to work harder,
to gain that kind of attention.

*i've never said this to anyone though,
i would rather make it seem less well-received,
bcux it's SO STRESSFUL THERE!! and i dont wanna stay at counter1 forever :X*

though for the record,
i got 3 VERY crappy customers today..
who are in contrary..
NOT PREMIER at all!! :X

*oh wells, i managed to turn 1 complaint into a compliment,
and i guess that reminded me what i like abt the svc industry (:

Colleagues are generally getting along better,
ytd just went to thread eyebrows with 3 of them..
of which, 1 used to be the terror of my life (or rather many pple's lives!)

*oh wells, but hearing that 2 of them are leaving.
OMG, even more stressed!!
die tgt liaos... bcux the rest cmi ):



Cute guy
you know there's this new cute guy in my list right..
he's a customer anw..
and all i did was to say, 'He's cute!'
and there goes my colleagues.
*in for trouble :X

*instead of mixing up eyecandy freshie with eyecandy customer...
i shall just put it eyecandy & cute guy (:

oh wells.
i think he comes every Mon/Fri...
seldom though,
but he came today as Diana predicted omg.
and i served him extremely fast,
afraid my colleague will have something to say LOL.

but i hate it when guys' ego get boosted like that =.=
wth. cant they not fly for once???



Eyecandy's birthday
hmmz, let's say i was not exactly invited along with the rest.
or how about i was let in on the rough plans,
but when i asked the details, they never reply,
so i decided not to bother alrd.

and my colleague suggested going for a meal.
and so i thought of Carousel lol.
i even offered to let him bring any one more person if he feels awkward,
and i pay for him/her...
like so nice right!! ((:

so ive alrdy booked Carousel this Sunday upon his reply..
and guess what??
i suggested another freshie, and as it turns out, now they're really tgt!!
LOL. i dont really mind luhs,
but i just started to imagine it,
and it might just be weird at Carousel, hopefully not.

*i just wanna enjoy a happy meal, at the expense of my $$$ LOL.

went to book today!
and guess who i met???
*Amy, ex-colleague from Amara!! :D
guess she'll be serving me on Sunday?



Random guy
met this guy on msn,
thanks to my sec sch classmate's prank in our sec sch days...

dont really entertain him though.
but suddenly we just chat and chat and chat on Sunday...
random stuff..

find him like a friend that i can really connect to.
like i can seriously speak my mind,
since he's quite out of my social circle??

but sometimes, i just have to admit,
he really msg me too often it sometimes gets irritating :X

*cross my fingers,
i dont really want any extra hidden msg now..
btw, we've never met face to face!



JBT Comm meeting
is also this Sundayyyy!
night that is.

we're going to meet and plan my 21st bdayyy!
i hope all goes well,
so i can faster meet the coordinator and sort things out..
*hopefully someone can accompany me? :D

im so happy & honoured to have JBT backed me up like that :D:D
*loves!



Money issues
hahahhas! i asked for it?
carousel's the primary killer. close to 200bucks. :X
but i like their service & their style,
that's the diff for a restaurant in a hotel, i like! (:

*pple might think otherwise, but i'd like to say,
i too want to enjoy my virgin dine-in at Carousel and why not with some friends? (:
and also, im not that tight on budget in the long run alrd,
so why not, spare some to see the smiles on others' faces?? :D
-they had better appreciate it!! LOL-

giving money away to my sis & mum lol.
my bonus is zilched bcux of that too lol.

loosening my budgets soon though!
aft all im nt going to sch this yr??
i think i can spare a little more cash on tiny pleasures (:
*hopefully that doesnt mean more fats!!

also thinking of alternatives to channel my money into something useful
like a skill investment in the long run?
i thought of 3 options...
DRIVING- my mum says impractical, bcuz aft Aus i still need refresher =.=
FRENCH- i really want a certification on that, but i lack practice & opportunities to practise ):
PIANO- im not sure, as it requires commitment. :X

and PEOPLE STILL HAVENT RETURN ME MONEY FOR THE HOTEL HURHUR!
im just damn surprised...
the person who asked me to help book,
who "organised" & agreed to meet me for check-in,
who supposed to get the money back to return to me...
totally failed me. ):

in the end, i checked in myself, double-checked checkout myself.
paid my dad myself,
and STILL HAVE TO CHASE MONEY FROM NOBODY BUT HIM!
omg. i thought the rest would be hard to chase,
in fact he is the last to repay =.=
*super not zidong. super immature. im through.
(just return me the remaining 10bucks the next time i see you)



the BIG TWO (phobias)
no. 1 is SIA.
sighs. i really dont know.
why issit each time i ready to let go,
there's always someone/something connected to that route,
to tell me to hang on. (to something deemed dead at that pt of time!)

*i'm really sicked and tired of explaining the painstaking process of rejection ):
and i myself is confused of what/when/how i should actually proceed to chase my dreams from here...
-after all that's all i really wanted-

but after all this longwinded search for something solid and stable,
and replanting the next step,
and pulling myself tgt, and standing on my feet again...
i begin to realise, that is really all i've wanted.

the others, are only part and parcel of the motion of life.
* a cert?
* a job?
* finances?

i need something/ someone to root for me,
to continually remind me not to give up... yet. :X


no. 2 is him.
im really afraid to "accidentally" fall for someone again.
afraid of history repeating itself.
afraid of falling too hard.
afraid of the tears i might have to wipe away myself.
afraid of trying to hard.
afraid of not being able to give my all anymore.
afraid of not being good enough.

*nahs, i dont have anyone i really like now.

anw what's the point?
i'll be aus-ing in a year.

shall just forget it altgt?




Love Becca.
pls help me keep my heart tgt, in one place, and in my soul.

becca (: ♥ 7:57 PM


Sunday, March 27, 2011
randomus.

today is the first Saturday i actually spent at home,
straight after work that is!
slept like a pig. rot like a stench.
awesomeness!



ytd was TP's DND...
finally they stop having it on an awkward thurs night at the end of march! hahahs

booked a room for my juniors.
1st time booking a hotel room under my name :X
and a SUPER PARANOID experience

*afraid someone pops something into his stomach from the minibar, and there goes my $100 deposit (with my debit card at stake)
*afraid that 14 pple (possibly drunkards) making more noise than the 2 person-only room should contain.. (scarly kena banned!)
*afraid that i can get back the $282 i spent from my dad's credit card! (still yet to get $60 from Kenneth)

WHAHAHS.
such that after work,
first thing i did was to make a call to the front desk,
and make sure everything was checked out properly (:

and the other thing is,
Intercontinental hotel's service was surprisingly awesome!
*it really inspired me, honestly.

heard that DND was a pleasure to the eye.
couldnt wait to stalk everyone's photos today!!
ahhahas i thought it was a girl's treat to dressup..
*but apparently not to all. LOL.

a pity eyecandy was nowhere within my sight ):
*alright alright, stop getting so obsessed alrd! :X


===with my ear, i spy ah ma watching 'Secret' in her room...===


photo debt finally clears off today!!! :D
*currently uploading the last of it? cruise photos. (52mins moreeee =.=)

finally mummy opens the mailbox.
and finally they found the letters of e-transfer,
for i gave some to my sis & mum ((:
*happy*

time to sit down and plan my 21st bday..
need some advice from JBT, but we're only meeting on 10th april night...
and also need someone to go with me to meet the events' person lehhs :X
sighs. so ma fun.
*so much for a dream-come-true 21st LOL.
oh wells!

my mind's been full of emo craps ):
and i hate it when i use eyecandies to overcome it :X
sighs. howwww.
and i only get to see either one of them once in a blue moon anw...
doesnt really help either ):

*but amazingly i've an awesome JBT to rant abt guys.
*an awesome Maysome & Fatin to rant abt friends.
*an awesome Diana colleague to rant abt work/ dreams.
*an awesome God to rant about everything under the Sun...
-what else can i want??-



Love Becca (:
what more can i want??
i just want you. someone to hold me when everything falls apart.

becca (: ♥ 12:01 AM


Wednesday, March 23, 2011
oh wells..

just some random popby (:



Work's been okay..
like how bad can it get...
since i've prolly been through most of the worst alredy??
*nasty customers/ stupid mistakes/ discreps/ blunders/ blurness.. HAHAHS!

just some news...?

BONUS IS OUT!
*distributed abt 10% to mum & sis each.
*alot for tithes this month!!
*still pending eyecandy's treat... (freshie)
(in fact i dont quite see it as a bday thing anymore, i just wanna treat them, go out enjoy & have fun ((: )

eyecandy's back!! (i mean customer)
zzz.. but my colleagues make it such a big hoohaa.. ):
now its so awkward.
i only meant it to make my day, have something nice to look at, have something to make me smile.
*superficial, really*

but sighs. its so awkward now! )):
*seriously!! dont ever trust anyone on stuff like this, even your best girlfriends! they tend to overreact, and get too excited ):

===============


JBT!!

not too long ago.
met up with JBT to celerate Jas' 1 mth-belated bday!! hahahs

chilled @ Marina Barrage.
htht, bitched, ranted, had fun, camwhored!

until... we forgot we had a last bus to catch!!
to make things worse...
missed our bustop!
alighted at the depot,
ran all the way to Tanjong Pagar mrt station..
lucky got LAST TRAIN TO KRANJI!!
*ran like mad again*

reached home,
dead beaten.
next day,
muscle aches!! :X

===================



alright lazy to blog more.
time to sleep/ watch tv!

*emomo.
i think the time of the month is here...
i hate it when i can emo until cry..
and then become all good after that =.=

i hate it when i can think so much,
think until cry ):



*i meant it when i said..
i wasted my time for this friendship.
it's not worth all that sacrifice.
it's not your fault.
it's just mine, becux i started it anw.

dont get me wrong,
i'm way over all that.
but what im trying to say is...
it's not true when pple say that becoming friends will help you overcome your phobia..

it's 2 separate things.
and i really feel it's not worth all that effort.
and the phobia is still there..

i dont think i can open up my heart properly again.
preferably not, in fact i feel that i might hurt another in the process..
so i rather refrain.
refrain from loving again..




Love Becca (:
perhaps another time..

becca (: ♥ 9:47 PM


Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Start of work aft long long leave... (:

hehs! went to Super Star Virgo last week :D
what a reminder of my childhood (:
didnt know how lucky i was...

*oh wells, mummy says it might be the last vacation for us...
so i did my best to make the best out of it..
esp when it fell on her bday too ((:

PHOTOS SOOON!! :D
i actually uploaded it today!!
*a good half year worth of photos...
not alot luhs. but owed too much HAHAHAS!

and for her bday...
first thing i alrd tried the Check-in recep...
apparently ground ops are quite blur abt onboard extra-mile services...
hmmz..

tried to get rid of my fam,
while i made my way to Recep onboard.
and literally demanded for a bday surprise ROFL.. in a nice way of cuz!
"hi, it is my mum's bday today... do your do things like extra-mile service?"
hahahhas the prowess for working in the service industry aint it! :P

found out that they already prep a cake!
and was truly amazed!
and then went to the respective restnt to pick it up...
and saw a list of pple's bday recorded by the cashier!! omg.
*extra mile service indeed!

aft much consideration,
i managed to book a private room for karaoke!! :D
food, and all included!
bought 1 hr, got 1hr free hehehe :D
*arranged for the cake to arrive at the right place, right time...

-fun!-


camwhored alot alot!!
felt like a taitai everywhere i went.

*bcux my family has a tradition of dressing up!
a childhood thing..
and both my sis and i always reminisce that!
so we'll bring damn alot of pretty clothes & shoes & makeup :P
-show you some photos later!-


we played bingo onboard...
and i won!!! :D
*small sum of $28.80 luhhs...
enough to recoup some loss though (:
happy can alrd (:


then bought a bottle of wine.
felt that it was super cheappp!
so had that throughout the cruise, since my fam doesnt really drink!
hahahhas!

*but i really made use of it for alot of extra service :P
muahahahs!

for eg. we got the vip balcony class boxes in the theatre,
bcux i was like "but how do i drink my wine down there in the rows of seat?"

or the public ktv lounge...
instead of paying for drinks...
just finish the remaining wine left b4 disembarking :D:D

-smart right!-


bumped into my colleague on the Patong beach of Phuket, Thailand!
like seriously...
we came from the same cruise ship...
but we never met before that...
neither after that...
*oh wells, she didnt reply me =.=


total expenditure damn high cannn! $168...
sua ka somemore!!
*debit luhs, but still broke! ):


tanned everyday.
swam everyday..
gymed everyday. (:

*still fat ):
bcux i ate alot everydayyy! )):


disembarked...
queued damn long to reach the customs area...
aft which, thank God im a Singaporean... (damn fast alrd!)

went to DFS...
bought 1 martell, 1 chivas, 1 wine, 3 beer!
wth siahhh SOOO CHEAPP OMGOMGOMG!

reached home.
shagged like maddd!


==================


BACK TO WORKKK!

everything so far so good?

today's photoshoot was an amazing experience!
felt so chio :D

ahahhas.
the professional consultant...
though very straightforward,
very professional..
taught us amateurs how to be real models (:

"thinking of a happy thought" infront of the camera...
really works!

with that,
i mentioned that it sounded like Harry Potter's experience with dementors in one of its episodes...
AND she thought that that is my happy thought =.=

*actually. the happy thought i chose was you!
i dont think i actually like you.
not to worry.
but your face just makes me smilleee (((:
-thank you eyecandy!-


OUHS.
did you know i got new eyecandy at work now!
*it used to be a potential something, bcux i seldom see him,
SINCE HE IS A CUSTOMER!
but... my dear bestest colleague-friend gave me away... ):
rofl!

-another pretty face that makes me smile though only at work (:-


then again,
today, right after the makeup artist did her stuff with my face & hair...
everyone's exclaimation (as i most feared)
was... so SQ!~

*grrr. i think i really havent get over yet.
it irks me to think i cant get in ):
that i begin to hate such compliments... ):

sighs. one day. i'll deal with it.


=====================


BONUS IS COMING THIS WEEKENDDD!
already fretting abt how to split/ spend/ save/ splurge it alrdyyy!
*all the S-es... lol.

there should be some for mum & sis?
then some for myself to tide through...

im really serious on treating eyecandy but stupid eyecandy dont wanna make a decision.
hope things work out with the others? (:

*i seriously got no fate with eyecandy!
everywhere i go, i hear so much abt it.
but we always never get to bump into each other ):

oh wells.
it's just for the eye i assure you :X
*eye only sounds bad/mean... or how abt superficially luhs. :X

though i feel really quite bad.
sighs.

it's really almost like...
"friends-for-benefits" kind :X
selfishness.
sighs. im really sorry!




alrightty. gtg slp now!
pray for Japan. (that was random)
Goodnight!



Love Becca (:
my heart can no longer give.
only ready to take & perhaps destroy..
perhaps this is the one and only reason why i wont let myself fall again.

becca (: ♥ 10:14 PM


Sunday, March 06, 2011
the beginning of my 1st hols since last May 2010

it's my core leave from work now (:
5th-13th march!! :D



firstly,
it's a relief to me,
since politics at work is starting to become visibler to my innocent eyes!

2ndly,
if you realise...
i haven had a proper break of rest since i gradded last May 2010...
this is gonna be my 1st one full week of break :D:D
(not counting the short cruise trip 3d2n & church camp last yr)
*this shall be my self-acclaimed HOLIDAYS :P



Today is the 1st day of my hols :D

went to meet Jas & cy @ Bugis...
supposingly a bday celeb for her..
belated and simple (:

*im just happy to meet them (:


stalked Racheal at her 1st day of work @ MOF :D
after our Itacho sushi lunch :D


then rushed off to Sentosa to meet my freshies...
now that exams are over,
i guess vball routine meetups are official now ((:

*eyecandy didnt come, as expected though ):
stupid eyecandy :X jking!
still cute lahhs :D


dinner-hunting was crazy...
all foodstores were closed at 9pm..
and we were like hungryghosts scavengering for food!!!
and we settled for pastamania... AGAINNN...
aglio olio was awesome :D


*and i swear each time i go out with my freshies...
they make me feel damn secure!!
firstly, they are mostly guys for some reason.
2ndly, they all TOWER above me :X
3rdly, got pple to carry things for me (sometimes)

*only thing is, certain ones is cannot see me once, dont suan me wan ))):
and that, it kinda looks as if im suppose to be the loaded one,
when indeed im as poor as them, even though im working =.=


then sleepwalked my way home!
hahahas.

now suddenly realised i haven packed my luggage...
trying to rush...
at the same time nua-ing ard! :X




Love Becca (:
one day... my prince charming will come for me.
plsplspls help me not to randomly fall for anyone ..
my heart is too weak. it's closed for now.

*though it's tempting enough to get a random fling just to tide over, b4 i become les. WHAHAHS! so mean :X
i feel so xxx (idk-how-to-describe) still. not ready to love & get hurt again...

becca (: ♥ 1:05 AM